Legal Matters

Smoky Joe, JD, General Counsel for Wealth Bondage

The Nature of Wealth Bondage

Wealth Bondage is reality as we know it. There is no "outside" of Wealth Bondage. The Happy Tutor is a Fetish Action Figure. He and all other Characters on this site are Fictions as allowed by law. Wealth Bondage is a satire in the Augustan Tradition. All references to Bondage, Spanking, Beatings, Branding, the Stocks, Pillory, Wheel, Guillotine, or to Dominance and Submission are to be taken as Allegories of life in a Free Society provided as a courtesy of Wealth Bondage. For a real beating consult your own Professional Advisors. In case of mucous discharge, or unexplained welts or rash consult your Immediate Superior.

The Purpose of Wealth Bondage

Wealth Bondage is a work of Art in the tradition of Rabelais, Martial, Erasmus, Dryden, Swift, Pope, and John Gay. As such, WB may engage from time to time in non-literal speech. Wealth Bondage is provided for the delight and instruction of our Consumers.

Binding One-Way Opt Out

Certain Personal Services of Wealth Bondage are provided at the sole discretion of The Happy Tutor. Subject to the terms of the binding one-way opt out, acceptance of  the service is mandatory at the option of The Happy Tutor. If the option is not exercised, the service is prohibited.

Hold Harmless

By entering this site the reader agrees to hold Wealth Bondage harmless. The reader acknowledges that as a work of art Wealth Bondage may employ from time to time various literary devices, including but not limited to metaphor, allusion, conceits, symbolism, soliloquey, dramatis personae and hidden meaning for the sole purpose of the reader's moral instruction and reform. However, the risks inherent in such an effort are great, and the outcome is always uncertain. There are no guarantees that the reader's habits and morals will be improved, nor that the reader's self-esteem will remain undamaged. Many readers report that self-loathing rises with self-knowledge. For some the suffering may be eternal. Wealth Bondage makes no prediction as to the outcome of any given case.

Fair Use by Natural Persons

Art like advertising belongs to the people. We can sing a jingle without royalties. Many words and phrases are not yet trademarked. Brand names are in the public domain if used for ordering product. We can repeat jokes without paying overrides. Even prayer is free.  As The Happy Tutor has imitated the Ancients, so you may appropriate his work within the limits of Fair use.

Fair Use by Non-Natural Persons

Wealth Bondage promotes open communication  between natural and non-natural persons. So, as a Marketer, or PR Expert, or Attorney, employed by a non-natural person, go ahead and read and enjoy. You can even learn stuff about prose style from us. You may use those skills, but only for noncommercial purposes, and only if the material you create is approved by us in advance, which it will not be, so do not bother asking.

The Master Contract

By entering Wealth Bondage you have agreed to all terms and conditions of the Master Contract.

Video of Disclaimer

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Directed and produced by J. Alva Scruggs for the Painstream Media.

Comments

[Ceot the rat.]

I am one with no one ...

And yet as they fell us we rise.
More like me, and me the first.

My corporation is the forsaken.
Every head another dollar sign.

My army is forever.
For they always recruit in my name.
A brick or product rejoiced.
Those merry tunes cried out,
earning me more.

My company grows every day.
I am international and famed.

Those that laugh will eventually join
in serving to my name.

So best regard from the basement.
The rats are waiting...

[Tutor]

"My corporation is the forsaken....my company grows every day...." Indeed. Thank you.

[Paul Curtin]

to be kinky, can we toss hold harmless to the wind? Just tonight, I promise!

[Tutor]

Unlimited liability, then? Piercing the corporate veil?

[J. Alva Scruggs]

Diminished capacity?

[Tutor]

Torture is a proven best practice of Wealth Bondage.

[JJ Commoner]

I can imagine that the Bush Administration has by now six-sigma'd their interrogation business process, and are probably in the process of re-vamping the variable compensation scheme to include boni (bonuses ?) for performace against excellence objectives.

Go team go !

[Tutor]

What will it take to have torture, much less the torture of suspects, prohibited? What outrages must be committed, become commonplace and come to light, and what penalty will those who drag these practices into the light have to pay to restore this country to its conscience?

[J. Alva Scruggs]

This estimable liberal, who is "unelectable" because he's actually an honest to goodness liberal and the "realists" don't like that, thinks we need an effort towards truth and reconciliation. That would be a good start.

[Tutor]

Thanks. Senator Minim blogged his rebuttal.

[J. Alva Scruggs]

With all due respect to the good senator, I doubt he's understood the disclaimer and I don't think he knows what he's in for when he visits here. Also, he looks like someone stuck a pickle up his patootie.