March 30, 2008

An Officer's Personal Photos from Auchwitz

Posted by The Happy Tutor

An SS Officer's private photo album from Auschwitz. I have a friend who writes of a class he is teaching to adults, some of them publicists, on moral philosophy, "They believe propaganda is what Nazis did. Public relations is something different." Yet, their history is intertwined, as Stuart Euen shows in PR! A Social History of Spin. The faces on television espousing their lies, are they not as well adjusted as these happy campers, though no doubt evil too comes in degrees, little by little, from bad to worse. When to protest? When is too early? When is too late?

March 19, 2008

Wealth Bondage Enhanced Client Security System

Wealth Bondage is now behind a firewall. With Eliot gone, the Party has just begun.   

Gloria Brame on the Spitzer Caper

Posted by Missy Proctor, WB '03 missy-p-mt.gif

Its Hard to be a Whore:

Consider this irony: as a sex-worker, you don't just hear about vigilant anti-sex prosecutors and family-values-touting pastors -- you suck their cocks.

Faculty S/M Tutorials

Posted by The Happy Tutor

Albuquerque Journal

A University of New Mexico administrator has determined that a faculty member who posed on a sadomasochism Web site with a graduate student should not face a faculty ethics inquiry.

Seems like the University of New Mexico might want to consult a good Morals Tutor on this one.

Exqusite Wealth Bondage Philanthropic Travel

Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth BondageCandy2.jpg

"Aren't you bound to learn more once you are a little less tied up?" David at Exquisite Safari's seems to think that he can get me to pitch his stupid travel schemes. My attorney will have David's  balls for breakfast. Philanthropy starts at home, Sweetie, with royalties to yours truly.

March 15, 2008

Access Denied

Our Value Proposition

Posted as a Professional Courtesy by Smoky Joe, JD, in Defense of Freedom smokey-mt.jpg

Wealth Bondage is more than Private Bank, more than a Bordello, more than a great political institution. Wealth Bondage is Freedom. Wealth Bondage is the Freedom to do whatever we please in secret.  Now, if you will excuse me, I have urgent matters that require my attention. Good day.

March 11, 2008

Who Wants Spitzer Gone?

Posted by The Happy Tutor

Catherine Austin Fitts:

So, with rumors circulating of more write offs and major financial institutions in trouble, does Wall Street want Elliot Spitzer out? Could it be he offended both banks and black budget folks with his comments about predatory lending?

March 01, 2008

Date Wealthy Men

Posted By Dick Minim, Senator (D MA)Wt999002l

Wealthy Men dating site, not that I would ever be unfaithful to Tutor.

February 25, 2008

Cherry Shelves

Posted by The Happy Tutor

He who read the books builds and sells the shelves. In a dumpster, he might have the books, but the shelves probably would not fit. He is living pretty high.
 

February 23, 2008

Society for Interdisciplinary Feminist Phenomenology Announces Website

Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah Dr-Chadwallah-mt.gif

Continental Philosophy:

The recently formed Society for Interdisciplinary Feminist Phenomenology is pleased to announce the launch of our website.

News of the 20 scholar group is here.  I envy my fellow scholars their meeting in Vienna to discuss Beauvoir's coming of age. Here I am stuck in Wealth Bondage discussing the hidden meaning of Candidia Cruikshank's boots.  I should set up a subaltern adjuncts web site. There must be at least 20 of us in various banks and brokerage houses doing values based planning, writing speeches, doing corporate histories. My own coming of age was nothing special. Ten minutes in the back of a van for a day's pay as a grocery bagger. No conference in Vienna on that topic, I am sure.   

 

February 12, 2008

Hootch For the Homeless (Red)tm

Posted by The Happy Tutor

T_bird2 Help the Homeless: Buy me the Hootch at $3.95  a pop, and I will donate a nickel to the homeless by recycling the bottle! Phil at Gifthub has his doubts, but he never has turned down a hit off my bottle. C'mon, Phil, lighten up. Am I the biggest grifter in the game? Pick on someone more powerful than yourself.

February 10, 2008

The Sorry Clown at Gifthub

Posted by The Happy Tutor

Nice to see Master Phil, my protege, making good over at Gifthub.  Thousands of subscribers, invitations to all the right parties.  He has all the right moves and all the wrong reasons. I taught him all the satiric moves and how does he repay me? By providing philanthropic consulting to a global bank. Wealth Bondage encompasses us like an octopus. Did you know that is how Diogenes, the founder of our line, died? Yes, he died eating an entire octopus raw. There is a moral in that. Phil you boot kissing son of a bitch. You are a sorry excuse for a satirist. You are not even much of a Fool. Clown is more like it. You can't write satire if your number one concern is staying in good with the very people you satirize. What do they pay you so you will pull your punches?  Is it worth it, sucking up to the rich and betraying the people who throng about us when we convene Carnival in the streets? Make a choice, pal! The Dumpster or the Bank of Wealth Bondage?

Wealth Bondage as Mennipean Satire

Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah Dr-Chadwallah-mt.gif

May we not say, then, that Wealth Bondage, and Gifthub too, are Mennipean satire, a disjointed, rhapsodic, prose satire, in the tradition of Diogenes? He of the Pithos, or Wine Barrel, he of the stick, with which, like our own Happy Tutor, he beat those he insulted? Earnest jest. Where have I heard that one before? Surely, it is important to be earnest as we beggars discuss philanthropy. Someone might write a light opera on that topic, surely.

Menippean satire moves rapidly between styles and points of view. Such satires deal less with human characters than with the single-minded mental attitudes, or "humours", that they represent: the pedant, the braggart, the bigot, the miser, the quack, the seducer.

The pedant? I find that a bit hurtful, candidly. But a lot of other people here in Wealth Bondage are certainly single-minded humours characters. As a Cynic, Mennippus, was a follower of Diogenes, and wrote of him. As the founder of a tradition, we find his influence in Rabelais, Swift, Diderot, Voltaire (wrote a play called Candidia, or something like that), and Master Philip Cub*ta, Equire, Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families and World Class Fool.

Philanthropists accosted from a Dumpster, surely, that is a play without footlights? Naked our Contemporary Diogenes, queries the worlds most powerful people as to their identity and role. No less than did The Fool in King Lear, or Diogenes confronting Alexander the Great, The Happy Tutor teaches us to find truth in folly, folly in truth. Some may ride on horseback before a conquering army, some may ride in a bullet proof limousine, some may live in a gated paradise where nature meets culture in Ameya preserve, some may mount the hustings to make a speech, or rise in the pulpit, dressed in robes, to tell us our duty, some may bang the gavel from the raised bench to send us to the dungeon;  while some naked live on the street howling in anguish. Diogenes like a dog would defecate in the street to make a moral point. You tell me who is the "Authentic Man."  We are all human. "Pull down thy vanity, Pacquin, pull down!"

The truth is a lonely outcast, the word that must not be spoken. We angels must not be animals. When the crowd presses around us in carnival, and we are at one with the body politic, then the word is made flesh and the Boy Bishop, his pants around his knees, drinks from the holy chalice to commemorate the taking of Christ's foreskin on this The Feast of Fools. "Drink and be whole again beyond confusion!" You may find yourself, but only if you get lost.

So, let us broach the wine barrel, that Diogenes, when it is empty will have a good home. Come let us drink! What is this all but a cock and bull story, a tale of the tub?

January 25, 2008

Deporting US Citizens

Posted by Joseph McPatriotjoe.jpeg

McKlatchy Newspapers:

The story of how immigration officials decided that a small-town drifter with a Southern accent was an illegal Russian immigrant illustrates how the federal government mistakenly detains and sometimes deports American citizens.

We do not make mistakes. We do not torture. We do not deport US Citizens.

January 23, 2008

Dog-Cat Carpets

Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth BondageCandy2.jpg

My new carpets arrived today. Thank you to all of you who volunteered your animals in homage to me. I am touched, deeply so. You are still fired!

January 13, 2008

Plenty of Fish

Posted by The Happy Tutor

NYTimes,

The principal customer service that Plenty of Fish <a dating site> provides is responses to complaints about possibly fraudulent identities and to subpoenas and search-warrant requests.

On the other hand the owner works a few hours a week and makes $10 million a year on user created content. It is all Wealth Bondage, after all.

A Lesson in Humility for that Little Twerp

Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth BondageCandy2.jpg

That moron over at Gifthub, my philanthropy minion, has seen fit to ask me, Candidia Cruikshanks, Goddess of Wealth Bondage, his boss and generous patron, these insulting questions:

  1. Is wealth bondage a gang of bullies?
  2. Is bullying condoned in wealth bondage?
  3. Are raids upon other sites tolerated?
  4. Do I enforce standards of civility?
  5. Am I, Candidia Cruikshanks, perfect in every way?

The answer, you ungrateful moron, is that Wealth Bondage does not bully. We do not condone bullying. We do not raid other sites. Our standards of fine behavior are legendary. We are the fucking gold standard for courtesy. Am I perfect? Well, duh!  I rule. You will go to the Dungeon until you kiss my boots.  Now bow down! That is our culture here, little worm, get used to it. Drag him off! I will not hear your screams. I have my headphones on. Moooon Riverrrrrrrrrr, wider than a mile,  I'm crossing you in style some day. Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker....  I can't hear you, little worm. Louder!

House Rules

Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah Dr-Chadwallah-mt.gif

If you are confused about the proper tone or style in Wealth Bondage,  just ask. I can explain everything in easy to understand terms even if you know nothing about the literary techniques (also known as tropes) used here. Most of my students in Wealth Bondage are functionally illiterate, even the Billionaires, so don't be embarrassed. If you want to wear a mask that is fine, just make sure you use a live email, so Candidia can assess blame  in the morning when we all sober up, or the cops come calling. Remember we are all under surveillance 24/7. There is a War on Wealth Bondage. We, as Fetish Action Figures, are on the front lines of Freedom. Remember, There is no 'outside' of Wealth Bondage. We are always already in bondage to wealth, if you see what I mean.  So proceed at your own risk. 

January 01, 2008

Wealth Bondage: Triple Bottom Line

CerberusThe Market has three heads:

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