Beware! Sanitation workers are going round emptying Dumpsters. That is the word on the street. Interned with the Illegals, Dumpster Dwellers await processing in the Wealth Bondage Service Camps. "You will be placed in a good job like they did me," says the fat lady, implanting the monitoring chip. On the audio system they are playing easy listening hits from the '60s. I'm rolling down the road just to lighten my load.... Does anyone else feel a little claustrophobic in here?
The crater where earlier today the Dumpster was demolished, apparently by liberals armed and trained by Iran. The incident has sparked a nuclear holocaust in Tehran. Fearing retaliation, Candidia Cruikshanks, invoking the Military Commissions Act, has declared a state of emergency, suspended the Constitution and imposed a curfew. Military Tribunals will try and execute those liberals deemed terrorists. Candidia expresses her grief and outrage, vowing, "Tutor will not have died in vain. We will rain death and destruction upon our enemies until the Happy Tutor has been avenged, and Freedom and Liberty have been restored." Donations in lieu of flowers to The Happy Tutor Memorial Fund at Rooster Foundation: Crowing in the New American Century. Tutor and I had our differences over public policy, but I will miss him dearly. His legacy continues in every bullet fired, every bomb dropped, every propaganda poster slapped on a wall, every slogan, every frame, every soundbite, every political speech in defense of Freedom. God Bless you, Tutor! And God Bless America!
Against the Dumpster leans Miss Shuganah's box. So, we all find our home in community with others. Perhaps leaned up against her box, we will find soon a homeless man in a bedroll, or a child in a basket. We all have much to be grateful for. I for a roof, she for her box, the man for his blanket, the child for the basket. It could always be worse.
Via Listics, Ken Kesey's lost dumpster. We had thought it was just an urban legend. "Tune in, Turn on, Drop out," as Tim Leary said, and here is where it all ends. Still, it is a helluva lot better than what I got.