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Posted by The Happy Tutor
When it all collapses, the garbage dump will become what the supermarket is now, and we Dumpster Dwellers will be first in line. Farming will not support us, alternative currencies will not support us. But garbage in abundance! Likewise we whose skills are those of the ragpickers will survive and prosper. Candidia among the ruins will pray with Dr. Jerome Jowells for the Rapture that never comes.
Posted by Senator Dick Minim (D)
You don't know Dick, like I know Dick. In public life, we are all Fetish Action Figures, puppets on a string, posed for the endless spectacle that is Wealth Bondage. I like the man personally, and am honored to work with him in conducting our nation's business. Dick is tough but fair, and candidly I like a little cruelty now and again, it is so damn masculine.
Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage
Good news via the Wall Street Journal We are doing better and better. They are going nowhere. There is justice in the world. Merit gets ahead and losers lose. You are free to be a billionaire like me. Meanwhile, get back to your cubicle.
Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage
Bill Moyers on Wealth Bondage,
Money is choking democracy to death.
Don't be so naive, Bill. Asphyxia is such a kick. Democracy likes it. She goes looking for Money. All we do at Wealth Bondage is make the market and rent the lovers a scene rooms. What lobbyists, politicians, and think tank thinkers do there is their own business. Watch, see! Democracy loves it. Tomorrow she will be back for more. Just be discreet. What the public needs to know is that everything is under control.
Chastity Powers Reporting for the Wealth Bondage Free Press
Good news gang! Wealth Bondage has been selected by our Government for the new Centcom Blogger Alerts, mentioned recently by Rumsfeld. This will enable us to provide Dumpster Dwellers with breaking news, totally free of spin.
US Central Command has launched an online communications effort that includes electronic news updates and a links campaign that has resulted in several hundred blogs receiving and publishing CENTCOM content.
Newsreels from the front produced at taxpayer expense will also save us a ton of money on reporters. The benefits, Candidia says, will go straight to the bottomline. Jeez Louise, I smell bonus cheese! C'mon gang, let's hear it. Gimme an F, gimme an R, gimme a E, gimme another E, gimme a D, gimme an O, gimme an M. What's that spell?
Posted by Joseph McPatriot
There is a sense in which every time Bush says "9/11" he is saying, "forget about 11/30." Every time Bush says "terrorist" he is thinking of political dissent, no matter whose. It could be a Gay Pride rally, or Cindy Sheehan, or a French anti-Monsanto activist; they are all the same 'of enemy or not at all' to Bush. In fact, every American is the enemy. Your potential for being a friend these days, in any promising sense, is rather exponentially decreasing, and if this doesn't spell the death of freedom, then what does? In order for this "President" to stay in power, the real terrorists within radical political Islam–our dear former necessary "friends"–must never really lose.
So, you admit, then, to that your dissident friends are Terrorists? "Theory" as you call it, derives from Marx! Don't play me for stupid. This is America and we shall remain Free.
Posted by Missy Proctor, WB '03
For my generation revolution is no longer an answer, and the new generation has not a clue about what is the question.
Jeez, that is so, um, cool. Like Austin Powers or something.
Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah 
From South Africa, Mike Golby is well-positioned to give a nuanced reading of the Parable that is Wealth Bondage. He has seen the McPatriots and the Blowtorch's come to power, and he has seen them deposed. He knows that when Freedom is truly on the march, our think tank thinkers, and political pundits, had better run for their lives. Golby sums it up nicely,
Unlike those feeding and patting the Republican elephant, mistaking its parts for an illusory whole, the Tutor's view from the dumpster ensures he sees it as it is.
Even as he comes under fire from Dumpster-Busting Smart Bombs, and is the object of Terrorist-baiting Smart Lynch Mobs, and is mentioned by name in the new McPatriot Act as a threat to Wealth Bondage, and is slated for extermination, the international community, spurred by Bishop Desmond Tutu is rallying to promote Tutor for a Nobel Peace prize. There are just not enough ignorant, white, Christian bigots in the world to make Wealth Bondage a mandatory surrogate for Freedom. People of color, children of many worlds, help us prop Wealth Bondage up!
(This post provided for entertainment purposes only by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah via Tata Infotech and remains the sole property of Wealth Bondage. All rights reserved. Tata Infotech has no position for or against Wealth Bondage. The views of Dr. Chadwallah are his own and may not reflect those of Candidia Cruikshanks or of Wealth Bondage generally. Dr. Chadwallah is speaking as a Fetish Action Figure in a work of Satiric Fiction as allowed by law. For comments or complaints, talk to the Author Function and lay a wreath upon his grave. This Disclaimer is provided as a public service of Wealth Bondage.)
Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage
If your cheese has been moved and you are without healthcare, you might want to try urine therapy. Who says I don't give my employees anything for free? C'mere, Sweetie. Awww. Who peed on your cheese! Eat healthy.
Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage
When cheese moves, move with it. Choices have consequences, Sweeties. You want the cheese, kiss momma's boots. You want your neck snapped? Well, you never know.
(I love managing these liberal elites. God, are they effective and efficient. Teacher-pleasers from grade one on up. Tell them what the rules are and they play along. "I am God!," I say to see what gutless little twits they are. They say, "Ok, can I be Bishop?" ) If you liberals are good boys and girls, Momma will give you cheese to eat, and also cheese to manage. Think of it! You will have procedures you can administer! You will have status, rank, and authority. You will be able to lord it over all the little subordinate mice. You will be middling bigshots! You like? Great to have you on the Wealth Bondage Freedom Team, Sweeties. No need to slobber. Now get lost.
Joe, get your ass in here. I want a tap on Timothy Burke's phone. I want an Agent of Wealth Bondage planted in his classes. I want to know his Google Searches, what books he gets out of the library, what videos he rents. I don't trust that little pissant intellectual. No one with his brains can be this much of a kiss up. What's his game? He had better not be fucking with me with this "habitus" bullshit.
Bait the trap, Joe. Tim will go for the cheese.
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