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June 29, 2007

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Dear Ms. Powers:

You can learn a lot from Lydia.

Sincerely,

O.L. Man

Paris Hilton as newsreader?

Paris' segments to be shot in grainy green, her tag, in the timeless tradition of Cronkite and Morrow:

"Ooooooh, it's so BIG..."

(referring to the planet, of course)

"Gawd, let's try to be serious, reading the news is hard work." - Missy.

Really, one thinks that it is completely unethical of some person to bring attention to, oh, you know, pretty much anything.


Who out there gets this message in its entirety??

It is unethical or in bad taste to mention the obvious, in many cases.

Indeed.

Don't compete on big dick.

Don't compete on full head of hair.

Don't compete on slim hips.

Don't compete on ample bosom.

Don't compete on rippling abs.

Don't compete on mental capacity.

Don't compete on mental acuity.

Don't compete on mental cruelty.

Don't compete on dead lift.

Don't compete on clean and jerk.

Don't compete on articulations,

abduction, adduction

or depression.

Strive together

coincide

be suitable

find partners

seek the shape

of your respective

destinies

laugh

dance

weep

leap

over them

as the most exquisite

of hurdles

to catch an errant

foot upon

and settle

over adequately

into the human

heap

"Why compete," asks Missy Proctor, "when we are born with it all?"

"Don't Try" says stinky old drunk on his tombstone.

The most poetic thing many people do is drink themselves into a stupor. I myself can still do that, even on my bad days.

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