Posted by The Happy Tutor
I just got a Face Book request from a woman who wants to befriend me and to join Wealth Bondage, devoting her life to our service. She is of noble birth and elite education who gave excellent references from our blogroll. She is a Buddhist who has studied with Monks. I enrolled her immediately in Wealth Bondage Worldwide and asked her to remit her net worth by return post, so that she could be a member in good standing. She complied, sending $8 via Paypal, but went on to ask if there is a FaceBook Group for Wealth Bondage Primates (our term for major donors). I told her she was in Wealth Bondage from birth, as her patriomony, but that we do not have any public groups per se, let alone on Facebook. Our Clubhouse as you can see in the Banner has no windows. We call it the Tomb. We interrogate prisoners of conscience here. In fact two of our Old Boys, Bush father and son, do it personally, good cop and bad cop, breaking these Buddhists down for our allies in China so that we might have a market free of dissent. Our distinguished members do the wet work for pleasure more than anything else, and as a perogative of rank. They could delegate to government officials or to private contractors, but they like the intimacy of being hands on. The Buddhists are shipped in fresh and warm and delivered back stone cold, rendered as body parts, picked and sorted, and chilled for sale on the open market. There is no Group on Facebook. We are a secret society. The Jolly Roger is our emblem as befits privateers who board and pillage public goods and the ship of state, particularly when elected to be its captain or crew. "We do not speak of Wealth Bondage." If asked about Wealth Bondage our members are instructed to deny that it exists, or look pained and baffled. Those highest up in Wealth Bondage will mutter something about how mentioning Wealth Bondage in polite company is in terrible taste. It is just not done. Let's talk about something upbeat like Philanthropy instead.