Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah
Phil over at Gifthub has written what is apparently a satire, of sorts, on Porter Novelli: Many Minds Singular Results (tm). But he seems, if I may be allowed to read between the lines, to be making them an honest offer too. Now, Porter Novelli with the best minds in the world, keyed into getting Singular Results, for those whose Vision Has No Limits, does not need any help from an Adjunct Senior Fellow in Charge of Hidden Meaning in Wealth Bondage. They can hold their own in defending Wade Dokken, their own role in this on-going public relations fiasco, and the role of PR generally in cooking up a Culture of Excellence. From the perspective of the vast history of satire, though, I think we can draw some lessons that might be helpful for Porter Novelli's Crisis & Issues Team as they plan their response, in defense of the Firm, their own profession, and the Fate of Humankind.
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My Crisis Intervention Strategy, if I maybe be allowed a suggestion as professional skilled in Rhetoric, would center on the Persona, or at least the Wallet, of this seedy figure who calls himself Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families. By every indication he is a penniless hack, a blogger on the take, a smarmy hypocrite, a toadying tool of Mistress Candidia Cruikshanks, his esteemed Patron, and my boss, for that matter. Rather than attacking him head on, my suggestion would be to take the hints he has liberally sprinkled throughout his post: Give him a job in HQ, maybe running the Media and Influencer Relations Division. He is good at Masquerade and fits as well just shooting the shit in a Dumpster Conversation as in Driving Public Opinion from the Bottom Up in a Corporate Astro-Turf Context. I know he needs the money. Don' t we all. But with so much at stake what is one million a year? Plus benefits. Just bill it through to Dokken. Call it insurance.