Wealth Bondage

Social Investing as Secular Religion

Posted by Candidia Cruikshanks, CEO of Wealth Bondage

Hello! Anybody home? God works through the market. The market is the hidden hand of God. By investing for total return, a Foundation does the work of God, not only in its grants but by supporting God's hand at work in the world. Such is my faith, not only as the Queenpin of Global Business but as a fucking Philanthropy Czarina too.  Such is the ethic by which I run Wealth Bondage. Such is the ethic by which I run Rooster Foundation: Crowing in the New American Century. To dump Wealth Bondage from a Socially Screened portfolio is an insult to all I hold holy. Lucy Greenholz must be stopped! My dunce at Gifthub is clearly not up to the job. I have put Bill Schambra on the case, though it will cost me a pretty penny. That man understands the value of a dollar.  If anyone can prevent the fall of capitalism at the hands of Lucy Greenholz, it would be Bill and the cast of toadying intellectuals he lines up to defend Wealth Bondage. Markets cry out to be Free! My last dollar will go, if need be, into rounding up and shooting all who disagree.

Imitate Jesus and Be Damned

Posted by The Happy Tutor

I wonder what my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, would have to say about the Book of Revelations. In any case, I have known men and women here in the Bible Belt, who were so Christian that they would crucify Christ all over again for being a Traitor to Christian virtues like hatred, resentment, spiritual pride, greed, willful ignorance and blind obedience. "Faith, hope and charity" are for liberal sissies, as these Christians see it, as is the Constitution. The face full of conviction, the faces bent to their cruel task, where have I seen them? Not He on the cross, but those who drove the nails. "Forgive them they not what they do." Ignorance is bliss, and ignorant indignation is ecstasy, but so dangerous to all around them.  It is time these Christians mildly gave their hands to the nails for their faith, or shut their yapping mouths. I pray daily that I will have the strength when my time comes, but for now pass the twelve penny nails, please, the ones like railroad spikes, and the baby sledge. I am born again and ready to kill for Christ, swinging the hammer and singing Gospel, like John Henry, a steel drivin' man. 

The Third and Final Awakening

Posted by Dr. Amrit Chadwallah

Imagine..... There is no Wealth Bondage.....

OK, well, I come up short, really. No politicians on the take, no think tanks, no  philanthropists grandstanding in the news, no sponsors, no proud sponsors, no generous patrons, no honored guests on the dais, no products new and improved, no job descriptions, stock options, no incentive plans, no free market, no unfree market, no market, no quid pro quo, no what goes around comes around, no reciprocity, no thick as thieves, no partnership for a better Wealth Bondage, no blue ribbon commission, no mega-Churches, no Trilateral Commission, no pay for play, no honorarium, no gratuity, no remuneratior nor emolument, no deferred compensation, no stock options, no insider trading, no Carlyle Group, no torture warrants, no alternative procedures, no public relations expert, no pundits, no prostitution, no copyright, no trademarks, no sales marks, no resource wars, no propaganda, no indoctrination, no testing every student ever year, no patriots and no traitors, no red, no blue, no me, no you, no life as we know it, just the sound of hot wind through a dead forest and the sound of sea rising.

There may be an end of history, but there is no end of Wealth Bondage. With it winks out consciousness itself. When Wealth Bondage goes, we go, and vice versa. Even the marauding tribes during the time of Tribulation, will bear in their dreams the lost paradise of Wealth Bondage and wait for the planes to return, bearing precious cargo from the mall, and salvation at a price anyone can afford from a mega-Church. How can we understand Wealth Bondage when we are Wealth Bondage? There is no point outside Wealth Bondage where we can stand and see. Even our God is but the shadow cast by Wealth Bondage. What He demands of us now is loyality to Wealth Bondage. That is the Third Awakening and probably the last. The comes Jesus to save the Faithful in Wealth Bondage. As earthly life flickers out for them - what will be their image of Salvation? What I imagine is. Well, I don't know. Be with God, I guess.